The Freaks Come Out at Night - Pt. 2

Remember how I promised a Freaks Part 2 post? Well, I'm hoping it was worth the wait because heeere it is!
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please see this post for background!

Alright... There's this guy, who we'll refer to as John {because similar to my last 'freaks' post that is not his name & merely popped in my head for no reason} who has an unlimited package at the tanning bed, wherein he can come as often as he wants for 30 days & pay a pittance compared to buying single visits each time he wants to tan. Needless to say, he comes every. single. day. Not kidding.
It irritates my boss because {I think} she feels she's losing money... In a roundabout way, but losing money nonetheless. Come on though, if she doesn't want people coming an unlimited amount of times in 30 days, she shouldn't offer an unlimited package. Hello, captain obvious.

Anyway! He comes in every day, right before we close, & asks for the hottest bulbs. Which really, if you're coming every day, hot bulbs or not really doesn't matter. You're gunna be tan. Did I mention both his arms are covered in sleeves of tattoos? Again, hot bulbs or not, daily tanning or not, you can't even see the true color of his arms thanks to the tats. But whatever, to each his own I suppose.

I don't particularly care for this guy... He wants special treatment but is incredibly rude when asking for it. My boss told me that he came in once, leaned over the counter to get closer to her face, &... Wait for it... BURPED right in her face!!

Seriously?!

Who does that?

WHO DOES THAT???

Sick.

Also an interesting tidbit... He & another customer, who we can call Debra, make out on the reg in the parking lot............ I'm sorry, what?

I mean, I know our parking lot has great ambiance, what with the vast blacktop, empty spaces, & dramatic lighting, but come ON. Really?? Do you honestly have nowhere else in which you can partake in those activities?

So he came in Monday night & I was in the back switching towels from the washer to the dryer & I didn't hear the doorbell. Jan says that it rings in the back, but with the washer/drying going & all the fans on, I can hardly ever hear it. I come out of the laundry room & see him peering impatiently into the hallway... I realize I didn't hear the bell & he's up there waiting so I quicken my pace to get back up front. I guess he expected me to break into a full-on run because when I got up there he was all huffy & ticked. He greeted me as follows:
"I want 20 minutes in some good, hot bulbs."

He doesn't bother giving me his name at this point because of course, I've committed it to memory thanks to his high maintenance issues, gaseous antics, parking lot PDA, & unique appearance. &, not to mention, he happened to jump up my you-know-what the last time I asked for it. I guess he thinks he's the only person that comes into the tanning bed during my shifts & can't understand why I didn't remember his name. Very logical, right? Right.

{Insert sarcasm}

I respond sweetly, of course, "Ok, you're all set in 25."
"Are those hot bulbs? I want hot bulbs."

No dude, they're not. You just asked me for hot bulbs, so of course, I'm not giving them to you.

Really?

Just go in there & get out of my face before you get the urge to belch.

So he saunters to his designated tanning bed & I resume my closing/cleaning duties. Shortly after, Debra, yes THE Debra, mentioned above, walks in & asks which bed he is in, {she saw his car when she pulled in & I guess wanted to let him know she was available for another make out sesh. Ick.} I tell her, set her in her own bed, & she mosies along to begin her 20 minutes of tanning in bed 26... She makes a pit stop at John's door, knocks & lets him know which bed she's in.

Let me just pause for a moment... I didn't realize until it was too late that she was THE Debra from the parking lot. I thought she was just a friend but then my little blonde noggin put two & two together. Yep, this little blonde noggin just put the PDA offenders side by side. Good one. Not that what happened next could have been avoided, most likely, but I partially blame myself.

& let me just explain the tanning bed's layout a little bit, so you can understand my emotions during the events that follow. The desk is at the front {obviously} & there are two long hallways on either side of the desk. The hallway on the right starts with bed 1 & goes through 21. The hallway on the left starts with 22 & goes through 37. {I know, she has a boatload of tanning beds.} Anyway, the way the left hallway is laid out, 25 & 26 are pretty close to the front. Bear that in mind as I wrap this story up.

So John's tanning sesh ends, he comes out & I'm pumped because I am so ready to bid this guy adieu & send him on his merry way. Turns out I wasn't going to get my wish.

Instead of coming up front, tossing his towel in the basket, & walking out the door, he gives a single loud knock on THE Debra's door & waltzes right on in.
Pause for reaction.

Now let me just say, being a born & raised Lexentonian {not sure if that's a word, but you get my drift,} & also being raised by an overprotective mother, it's not difficult to shock the hell out of me. I've seen quite a few odd things but they usually shake me to my core & I can't believe they've happened. Which is exactly what this moment did.
Not only was I shocked that he walked right into her little room while she was tanning, but I was also shocked that she didn't even lock her door! Like she was expecting it! WHAT?!

& here I am, up front folding towels trying to pretend I didn't just see that.
THE Debra still had about 6 or 7 minutes of tanning time left & he stayed in there that entire time, PLUS about 10 more minutes after her bed shut off! & I can hear everything that goes on in that room because it's so close to the front, & lemme tell ya, they weren't talking.

Meanwhile, I'm still up front in a full blown panic. Remember, it's not hard to shock me. I think my thoughts were going a little something like this:
"What do I do? Where do I stand? Keep folding towels? Run to the back? What if they find out I've gone to the back & it just gets worse? What if they stay in here until after we're closed & I'm ready to go & I have to go intervene? I want to puke... What do I do? I'll just keep folding these towels... I want to puke. WHAT DO I DO????"
Remember how in Part 1 I told you I tend to think the worst when given the time to do so? Well, I had ample time to stand there & continue to panic.
I texted my friend & told her what was happening & she asked me if that was allowed.

Is that allowed?! I don't know!! It's never happened before!!

Anyway, long story longer, the two lovebirds eventually left & I didn't dare peak out into the parking lot to see if the lovefest continued. I seriously hesitated to clean that bed because I didn't want to go anywhere near it but I felt the need to protect whomever was put in it the next day.

But is that not just completely & totally weird?!

Blows my mind. Please tell me I'm not alone & completely unjustified in my shock?!

Happy Friday!
XOXO