On Friday, February 11th, 2011 my grandmother, Bonnie Sue Vance Stallard, aka Nana, left this life for a much better one.
I hesitated to write this post but wanted to take some time to celebrate this beautiful woman!
Ever since I can remember, my Nana has been a huge part of my life. When I was little & learning to talk, I named her Nana, but pronounced it 'Nonny'. I'm not sure why, to this day, why I always spelled it Nana, but I did & she let me. For most of my life my mother, sister & I lived with my grandparents. I think at first it was a temporary fix, so my mom could get back on her feet after she & my father divorced, & we moved out once, but came back. Every time we talked about moving I could never wrap my mind around it... Living somewhere without my grandparents in the same house. Although this set-up tested everyone's patience at times, I think we all really loved it. I had the chance while I was growing up to be very close to my grandparents while many of my friends only saw their grandparents once or twice a year. We are, & have always been, a very close, tight-knit family & I am so grateful for that.
My Nana taught me how to love people no matter what, how to pray, & to over-use 'I Love You'. She always told me, as far back as I can remember, that our family will always stick together "through thick & thin." & we really have. My Nana was truly the type of person who fit in anywhere... She could talk to a bum on the street & make him feel at ease. But she could also meet a great like Muhammad Ali (which she did, along with many others,) & fit right in. She was also, truly, the classiest woman I've ever known (besides my momma!) Everyone who met her was immediately her friend, & like family to her. She cherished her family & friends above all else & she always told them what they meant to her. I never had any doubt in my mind that my Nana loved me with all her heart because she told me every day.
When I was little & got in trouble my mom would put me in time-out. It was in a sad little corner in a sad little wooden chair that was just my size. Nana haaated when I got in trouble because she always felt so sad for me! So every time she was there & I was put in time-out she would come sit in time-out with me. She was a source of Strength for our family; pushing us when we needed pushing, cheering us on when we needed cheering, celebrating our triumphs, & feeling our pain as if whatever caused us pain had happened to her too.
This past Thanksgiving I visited my grandparents in Eastern KY & after we were done eating I was sitting outside with my aunt & uncle, sister, & Nana. My Nana was having a pretty good day, as far as her Alzheimer's was concerned, & in a moment of clarity my uncle asked my Nana something like, 'what is life about?' She said: to be Kind to others, be True to yourself, & live Simply. I will carry these words with me for the rest of my life, because they are invaluable & exactly the way my Nana lived her life. I am making a promise to her that I will always try to live my life this way because it truly creates a beautiful life.
I will miss my Nana forever, as will our entire family & all those who knew her, but just like when I was little, I know she is right there with me. Whether I'm in time-out or not, she will always be by my side. Celebrating my wins, mourning my losses, & guiding me through the next phases of my life & I couldn't ask for a better Guardian Angel... I will keep her in my Heart, always.
I hesitated to write this post but wanted to take some time to celebrate this beautiful woman!
Ever since I can remember, my Nana has been a huge part of my life. When I was little & learning to talk, I named her Nana, but pronounced it 'Nonny'. I'm not sure why, to this day, why I always spelled it Nana, but I did & she let me. For most of my life my mother, sister & I lived with my grandparents. I think at first it was a temporary fix, so my mom could get back on her feet after she & my father divorced, & we moved out once, but came back. Every time we talked about moving I could never wrap my mind around it... Living somewhere without my grandparents in the same house. Although this set-up tested everyone's patience at times, I think we all really loved it. I had the chance while I was growing up to be very close to my grandparents while many of my friends only saw their grandparents once or twice a year. We are, & have always been, a very close, tight-knit family & I am so grateful for that.
My Nana taught me how to love people no matter what, how to pray, & to over-use 'I Love You'. She always told me, as far back as I can remember, that our family will always stick together "through thick & thin." & we really have. My Nana was truly the type of person who fit in anywhere... She could talk to a bum on the street & make him feel at ease. But she could also meet a great like Muhammad Ali (which she did, along with many others,) & fit right in. She was also, truly, the classiest woman I've ever known (besides my momma!) Everyone who met her was immediately her friend, & like family to her. She cherished her family & friends above all else & she always told them what they meant to her. I never had any doubt in my mind that my Nana loved me with all her heart because she told me every day.
When I was little & got in trouble my mom would put me in time-out. It was in a sad little corner in a sad little wooden chair that was just my size. Nana haaated when I got in trouble because she always felt so sad for me! So every time she was there & I was put in time-out she would come sit in time-out with me. She was a source of Strength for our family; pushing us when we needed pushing, cheering us on when we needed cheering, celebrating our triumphs, & feeling our pain as if whatever caused us pain had happened to her too.
This past Thanksgiving I visited my grandparents in Eastern KY & after we were done eating I was sitting outside with my aunt & uncle, sister, & Nana. My Nana was having a pretty good day, as far as her Alzheimer's was concerned, & in a moment of clarity my uncle asked my Nana something like, 'what is life about?' She said: to be Kind to others, be True to yourself, & live Simply. I will carry these words with me for the rest of my life, because they are invaluable & exactly the way my Nana lived her life. I am making a promise to her that I will always try to live my life this way because it truly creates a beautiful life.
I will miss my Nana forever, as will our entire family & all those who knew her, but just like when I was little, I know she is right there with me. Whether I'm in time-out or not, she will always be by my side. Celebrating my wins, mourning my losses, & guiding me through the next phases of my life & I couldn't ask for a better Guardian Angel... I will keep her in my Heart, always.
OH friend, how we have much more in common that you KNOW. My Nana (also called mine that) was my mom's mom. The most GOD-LOVING, sweeeetest person God put air in. She was the love of my life and my very very ver best friend. When I butted heads with my parents I ALWAYS packed a bag to go stay at Nan's house...she was my little escape. We would stay up on Saturday nights ( I remember crrrying to stay the night with her when I was younger) and we would watch Hee-Haw and, Empty Nest, and then The Golden Girls. I could talk to her about ANYTHING and to this day, there are SEVERAL things my Nana knew about me that my own mother does not even know. It was just a strong bond. In 2008, she started losing her appetite and saying she was lethargic and complaining of chest pains. Her family doctor diagnosed her with inflammation in her sternum and gave her some meds and sent her home. She called my mom in a panic one day and said her right arm all the way down to her feet felt numb....afraid she was having a stroke mom took her to the ER. After many tests we found out a couple days later she had lung cancer (never smoked a day in her life- we think it had just spread there and was the most crucial at that point) her prognosis was not very long....I was devastated...our whole family - just DEVASTATION, as you can imagine. MONTHS before that my moms older brother had a massive heart attack on EASTER NIGHT. We had just thought all those signs and symptoms was Nan just being emotionally and physically drained from losing my uncle Paul....so here is my mom. The only one left to take care of her and to take this news on by herself (although she had me and my dad and brother). Long story short - mom quit her job to move in with her and take care of her. She wanted to spend her last days at home. I helped out as much as I could and I ended up staying with her for about the first month (moving in) until she got where she needed my mom full time....the cancer was already in her brain when we found out....but she looked healthy as an ox. My Nana was NEVER a sickly person for as loong as I can remember. I am going to blog about it somewhere in my 30 day challenge I just need to find the right spot. I was JUST getting ready to shut my computer down for the night and get into bed when I saw this on my feeder.....I HATE this for you SOOO MUCH because I could just sit here and cry (DID)KNOWING what you feel like just because of the bond you had with her alone. BUT, like you said in this day and age it is not the NORM for some girls to have that bond that we were both so fortunate to have, and I TRY my hardest to hold on to that...but I'm not going to lie -- I don't think the hurt ever goes away. There is sooo much I would love to ask her and talk to her about but I know she knows and I know she would tell me to listen to my heart...if you ever need to talk about annnnything at alll...do not hesitate to email me, holler at me - I will say a prayer for you and your family tonight!! I know we both have our own personal angels in heaven!! And as bad as I would want mine HERE I like it that its HER, I wouldn't have it any other way.
ReplyDeletexoxo